Fine to just turn up
‘It’s good that you are discussing your concerns. Discuss them with your sister too. Tell her that you find this tricky, that you are worried but don’t want to impose on her. If she continues to be withdrawn and/or not want to talk about it, discuss it with your parents, for instance, or brothers or sisters, or any friends you have in common. If you care about someone and are worried about them, it’s fine to just turn up.’
Annemarie Teunissen, Biology study adviser and skills trainer
Gut feeling
‘I think you need to follow your heart. Sisters often have such a strong bond that you sense things before others spot what is going on. Perhaps you can share your worries with someone else who knows your sister well. If that person is concerned too, I wouldn’t hesitate to get on the train to Utrecht. In my experience, your gut feeling is often a reliable indicator in situations like this. Doing nothing isn’t an option in this case, I would say.’
Hermien Miltenburg, WUR parents’ adviser and mother of three university students
Have a chat
‘It is important to find ways to stay in contact with the people you know. So much has changed due to Covid that it helps to keep some things as they were. Contact with friends and family can give you peace of mind and some distraction, and also allow you to let off steam. Talking to them about your concerns can help relieve the tension a bit. Of course it’s fine just to have a chat; it doesn’t always have to be about your worries.’
From ‘dealing with Covid stress’ at Therapieland.nl, which Utrecht University directs students to
A bubble together
‘Yes, I would pay her a visit but just to do fun things rather than necessarily talk about how she’s doing. Then you aren’t making it such a big deal. Show you are there for her and that it could be nice to be in a bubble together. Have dinner together, watch Netflix, go for a walk in the park — stuff like that. And tell her sometimes how happy you are to have her.’
Pieter, Food Technology student
Next WURry: My housemates can’t cook
If you have advice or tips for this Wurrier or if you need some advice yourself, email your tips or question (100 words max) by 23 April to resource@wur.nl, subject noWURries.