I had no intention of studying for many years. Few people tell you that after your fifth (or sixth or seventh…) year in Wageningen, many of your old friends leave the nest. Loneliness creeps up on you. To keep it at bay, I must focus fully on new contacts, just like all the other new master students. Some new friends simply emerge. I met someone at a WUR bake-off who recognised me from one of my columns. She invited me to go swimming in the Rhine that very evening. Others present more of a challenge. I often feel like it is my first day on planet Earth, and I must re-learn all the random rules that come with making friends. Why do I get invited one time and ignored the next?
Ultimately, a pleasant atmosphere depends on the French’s willingness to speak English – which is, as expected, low
Occasionally, I attempt to seduce people into spending time with me by cooking for them. My French housemate and her French friends eagerly accepted my invitation for risotto. It was a food-based hostage situation: an obligatory good time, as someone is cooking for us. Ultimately, a pleasant atmosphere depends on the French’s willingness to speak English – which is, as expected, low. My French housemate looks at me apologetically as her friends talk amongst themselves in French. She translates the occasional word. Shop, cheese, and dinner is great. Thank you, they say, merci. But now we want to watch our French TV programme.
Social isolation significantly restricts your life
A (temporary) period with less social interaction is normal. But there is little discussion about the insecurity this causes. Social isolation significantly restricts your life. Try writing a thesis while no one inquires about your progress. One new friend explicitly illuminates the underlying stress. Of course, you can make friends at any stage in your life, but it is easier at the university. So, if it is difficult at the university even… We have only just met as master’s students. ‘So, if this is the last time we make friends, we are stuck with each other’, she laughs. Next week, we will watch a bad TV show together. In English, so nobody feels excluded.
Ilja Bouwknegt (24) is a master’s student in Forest and Nature Conservation. Ilja is an active member of the study association WSBV Sylvatica and sometimes does bat research at night.
