It’s two in the afternoon. I am tired. Sluggish. I am all out of motivation and concentration. ‘Dexa, want to try?’ an acquaintance asks. She is standing beside me. She uses dexamphetamine to ease her ADD symptoms. ‘No, I’m not sure it’s ethical’, she withdraws her offer. No more than five seconds later, I swallow the dex pill. For the first time ever. I am curious.
Dexamphetamine is a stimulant that enables you to concentrate better on a task. It also releases dopamine, which improves your mood. But there are also side effects: restlessness, nervousness and anxiety. If a person (like me) who does not have ADHD or ADD uses the medicine, its effects are similar to those of speed. Speed light, so to speak. It is apparently a popular drug among students, especially during study weeks. I don’t know any of those students. Some of my friends even consider black tea a ‘stimulant’. I also have a friend who only considers crystal meth a stimulant. But even this friend does not have experience with dexamphetamine. This is to be my experiment.
15:00 hrs. My eye muscles are tense. My hands are sweaty, and my head feels a little strange. I’m not tense about this experiment. Still, I feel an odd sense of stress in my body.
15:10 hrs. My heart rate is soaring. Or perhaps it isn’t, and I just imagine it?
15:45 hrs. I sit on the couch and try to make a grocery shopping list. Suddenly, a sentence for the column you are now reading pops into my head. I run towards my laptop to write this sentence down.
16:00 hrs. I look up from my work. What? I’m still writing. How is that possible? I was going to the supermarket, wasn’t I? I worked effortlessly. Wow, such concentration. I keep going.
17:00 hrs. I walk to the university. Am I acting normal? I wonder whether I will look normal to people I may meet.
19:25 hrs. Concentrating on my computer screen is becoming increasingly difficult. Where did the magic go? The dex pill has stopped working.
11:30 hrs. Two days later. My head aches, and I am exhausted. I crawl back into bed in the afternoon. Coincidence? Of a side-effect? I have no idea. I will leave it at this one-time experiment.
Steven is doing a Master’s degree in Economics and Policy and enjoys hitting the squash court. He is always up for a game of squash and a good conversation. You can email him here.
